“Collar” has a special meaning within the BDSM community. Depending on the type of BDSM relationship and scene, a collar can have multiple meanings and vary in looks and style, it can be the physical or emotional restraint of a submissive by their dominant or an accessory worn by a submissive around their neck to show the ownership a dominant has over them. In this article, we’ll explain the different types of collars and the meaning behind each one.
What Is the Meaning of "Collar" in BDSM?
BDSM (an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) refers to different sexual practices that involve a power dynamic. The term “collar” in the BDSM community has two distinct meanings that we will cover. The first, and most common, refers to the physical object worn around the neck of one partner. Usually a necklace or a leather band, which symbolises their submission and that their dominant partner owns them.
The reasons for wearing a collar can be different for everyone but usually, a submissive partner agrees to wear a collar as a sign of their submission to their dominant partner. Dominants may also choose to wear a matching accessory, such as a key or even their own collar, to symbolise their ownership and commitment in a BDSM relationship to their partner. These collars can be exchanged between partners as part of a ceremony or simply exchanged as a gift.
Different types of collars are used in the BDSM community depending on the type of relationship, amount of control the dominant is given and even what type of scene is agreed upon. The most common types being: Training Collars, Protection Collars, Play Collars and Formal Collars.
The second meaning of "collar" in BDSM is more metaphorical. It refers to the level of commitment and power dynamics within a BDSM relationship. A submissive partner may agree to be in a "collared" relationship with their dominant partner, indicating that they have agreed to a certain level of commitment and obedience within the relationship.
To summarise, the term "collar" in BDSM refers to either a physical object worn around the neck that symbolises ownership or commitment to a dominant partner. Or it can be referring to the level of commitment and power dynamics within a BDSM relationship. In the next section, we will explore the different types of physical collars that can be used during a BDSM scene or relationship.
Types of BDSM Collars
Exploring the Different Types of Collars in BDSM
The use of collars in BDSM is a common practice that serves multiple purposes, including establishing dominance and submission, signifying ownership, and enhancing the overall experience. The wearing of a collar is a physical symbol of the power exchange between dominant and submissive partners.
Various types of collars can be worn, depending on the material used, the design, and the level of commitment between the partners.
Here are some of the most popular types of collars in BDSM:
- Collar of Consideration
This is a temporary collar that is used during the initial phase of a BDSM relationship. It signifies that the dominant partner is considering taking the submissive partner as their own.
- Training Collar
Typically made of leather or similar material, the training collar (as the name indicates) is used during the beginning stages of a BDSM relationship when the dominant is training their submissive partner.
It signifies that the submissive partner is under the guidance and control of the dominant partner, and is usually worn for a short period before being replaced by a more permanent collar. They are worn to help establish rules and boundaries, and encourage obedience during a scene. These types of collars are not usually used for punishment but as a way to help reinforce and train the submissive as they learn.
- Play Collar
A play collar tends to be temporary and only used during a BDSM scene. It is often made of soft materials such as fabric or leather and may have decorations such as spikes or studs. These could be used for people who enjoy exploring pet play in the confines of a scene or even as a form of punishment. They tend to be worn only during a scene and do not have the same level of commitment as other types of collars.
- Protection Collar
The protection collar signifies that the submissive is off-limits to other dominants, providing a sense of security to the submissive when out at a party or BDSM club.
These collars tend to be worn by submissives who want to indicate that they are already in a committed relationship. It is often simple and unassuming and can be worn during a person's day-to-day life, it may include a tag with the name or initials of the dominant partner.
- Ownership Collar
Unlike a protection collar, an ownership collar is the most permanent type of collar and is worn by submissives who are fully committed to their dominant partner.
These can be made of metal or leather depending on what the person wants and are typically personalised with engravings or symbols that represent the relationship. The ownership collar signifies that the submissive is the property of the dominant and is not to be shared with others. These tend to be worn on a more permanent bases, even outside of the BDSM community.
- Posture Collar
The posture collar is a specialised type of collar that restricts the movement of the head and neck. Unlike the others, it is often made of rigid materials such as metal or plastic and is used to force the submissive to maintain a specific posture. The posture collar can be uncomfortable to wear for extended periods, making it a popular choice for punishment or discipline in BDSM.
Collars play an essential role in BDSM relationships, and selecting the right type of collar is crucial to ensure that both partners understand the level of commitment involved. Whether you choose a training collar, play collar, protection collar, ownership collar, or posture collar, it is important to communicate openly with your partner and establish clear boundaries to enhance your BDSM experience.
Traditional Leather Collar
As well as the different meanings, depending on the type of relationship you enter, choosing the right material for your collar is also crucial.
The traditional leather collar is one of the most popular types of BDSM collars and comes in many different styles, such as chokers, necklaces, or bands. The collar is typically made of high-quality leather and can have various adornments, such as studs, spikes, or rings.
Training collars, protection collars and ownership collars tend to be made of leather as they can be worn for long periods of time without causing discomfort to the wearer. A traditional leather collar can be worn by both dominant and submissive partners, depending on the context of the relationship.
Metal O-Ring Collar
The other most commonly used collar is the metal O-ring collar. As the name suggests, this collar is usually made of metal, such as stainless steel or aluminium, and has an O-ring attached to it. The O-ring serves as a point of attachment for a leash or other bondage gear, allowing the dominant partner to control the movements of the submissive partner.
Metal O-ring collars can vary in size and thickness, depending on the wearer's preference. Some collars are thin and delicate, while others are thick and sturdy, giving a more imposing look to the wearer. Some metal O-ring collars are also lockable, adding an extra layer of security, permanence and control.
With its sturdy design and functional O-ring, it allows the dominant partner to exert their power over the submissive partner, creating a sense of intimacy and connection between the two. These can be worn on their own as a way of expressing ownership or can also have a function during a scene, such as having attachments added during a scene.
Day Collar
Unlike other collars that may be worn only during BDSM sessions or in private, a day collar, as the name suggests, is designed to be worn in public, at work, or in other non-BDSM settings. The purpose of a day collar is to allow submissives to express their submission to their partners in a discreet way that doesn't draw unwanted attention.
There are several different types of day collars available, each with its meaning and style. One common type of day collar is the discreet collar, which is designed to look like a regular piece of jewellery. These discreet collars are often made of high-quality materials like silver, gold, or leather, and may feature subtle BDSM symbols like locks or chains.
Another popular type of day collar is the eternity collar, which is a permanent collar that cannot be removed without a special tool. Eternity collars are often made of stainless steel or titanium and are meant to symbolise the everlasting commitment between partners.
Other types of day collars include lockable collars, which require a key (which a dominant may choose to wear to symbolise their commitment and ownership of their submissive) or combination to remove, and choker-style collars, which are worn tight around the neck like a necklace. Some submissives may also choose to wear multiple collars, each with its meaning and significance.
The day collar is a type of BDSM collar that can either be worn all the time or just during the day and be removed for sleeping.
Choker Necklace
Another common collar used in BDSM is the choker necklace. The choker is a close-fitting necklace that sits high on the neck, and it is often adorned with studs, spikes, or rings.
These more permanent collars are used to represent the commitment between a submissive and their dominant partner. It signifies ownership and serves as a constant reminder of the relationship and power dynamic between the two individuals.
The recent popularity to wear collars as a fashion accessory has allowed for people in BDSM relationships to wear them on a more permanent basis without drawing attention from people who are not apart of the BDSM community where they take on a different meaning.
Overall, choker necklaces are an essential part of BDSM culture, and they carry a lot of symbolic meanings. Whether you're new to BDSM or a seasoned player, a choker can be a powerful symbol of your commitment to your partner and your lifestyle.
Slave Collar
The meaning of the collar in BDSM varies depending on the relationship between the dominant and submissive partners. For some couples, the collar represents a permanent commitment, similar to a wedding ring. For others, it is a symbol of trust and intimacy, indicating that the submissive partner is willing to surrender control to the dominant partner.
A slave collar is a type of BDSM collar that is worn by submissives who identify as slaves, meaning they have given up all their rights and freedoms to their dominant partners. The collar is often made from different materials, such as leather or metal, and can be customised with various symbols, charms, and engravings.
There are different types of slave collars in BDSM, each with its unique meaning and purpose. Here are some of the most common ones:
- Training Collar
This type of collar is worn during the initial stages of a BDSM relationship when the submissive partner is being trained to serve the dominant partner. It is usually a simple collar made from leather or nylon and does not have any decorations.
- Play Collar
This type of collar is worn during BDSM play sessions and is designed to be comfortable and lightweight. It can be made from a variety of materials, such as PVC or rubber, and may have various embellishments, such as spikes or studs.
- Formal Collar
This type of collar is worn during formal BDSM events, such as a BDSM convention or a BDSM wedding ceremony. It is usually made from high-quality materials, such as silver or gold, and may have engraved messages or symbols.
- Day Collar
This type of collar is worn in public by submissives who are in long-term BDSM relationships. It is discrete and can be worn as a necklace or choker, allowing the submissive partner to feel connected to their dominant partner even when they are apart.
Unlike the other collars mentioned above, slave collars are for a specific type of BDSM relationship where the submissive has consented to give up all their freedom to their dominant. In other relationships where the submissive wears a collar, the boundaries may be different.
Posture Collar
Posture collars are a type of collar that restricts the movement of the head and neck. They are designed to force the wearer to maintain a specific posture, usually with the chin up and the chest out. Posture collars are often used in BDSM scenes to enhance dominance and submission dynamics and for punishment due to their uncomfortable nature.
There are several different types of posture collars available on the market. Some are designed to be more restrictive than others, depending on the wearer's preferences and experience level, these are:
- Standard posture collar
A standard posture collar is typically made from leather or PVC and is designed to be worn around the neck. It is usually fastened with a buckle or snap closure and has a ring or D-ring attached to it for attaching a leash or other bondage equipment.
- Tall posture collar
A tall posture collar is similar to a standard posture collar but is taller and more rigid. It is designed to support the head and neck and is often used in BDSM scenes that involve bondage or suspension.
- Corset posture collar
A corset posture collar is designed to be worn like a corset, with laces running down the back. It is typically made from leather or PVC and is designed to be very restrictive, forcing the wearer into a specific posture.
- Medical posture collar
A medical posture collar is usually made from plastic or foam and is designed to be worn for medical reasons, such as to treat a neck injury or to support the head and neck after surgery. However, they can also be used in BDSM scenes as a form of restriction.
Posture collars can be a fun and exciting addition to any BDSM scene. However, it is important to use them safely and consensually. Make sure to communicate with your partner about their experience level and preferences before using a posture collar. And always have a safety plan in place in case of emergency.
In conclusion, the collar in BDSM relationships and depending on the material used, the permanence and the type of relationship can take on varied meanings. For some these can be fun additions to a scene and enhance the experience. For others these are as permanent and important as wearing a wedding ring, symbolising the deep connection and longevity of the relationship between a dominant and submissive. Choosing to be “collared” in a BDSM relationship is a way to show how much you value and trust in the relationship and shouldn't be agreed upon lightly.